Today I find myself drowning in the weight of the past.
What is hard is living beyond where I have been, embracing now, embracing my worth, embracing God's call and work in my life in spite of my flaws. It is a strange spot to be in just two days past Easter. Grace, it seems, is a gift freely given and not so easily received.
Yesterday, I presented some information about India with a few folks from my trip to India. Sathi Clarke explained that one of the objectives of the trip was to have the experience of receiving hospitality because the act of receiving is an important act. It is a discipline that relates to grace in many ways. Grace has to be received. Like a gift, a hot meal in a stranger's home, a cup of tea with a new friend.
But it is so hard. It is hard to believe that I am lovable and worthy. It is hard to believe that I can be forgiven for the past and am free to move forward toward a new creation. Because I have been recreated. That's what Easter is about, right? New creation...
I am having difficulty staring into an empty tomb and believing it impacts me directly. I am having a hard time today reaching out with an open hand to receive the gift of grace.
In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. In the Great Thanksgiving, this is one of my favorite acts, followed by the passing of the peace. It is a time when we reach toward one another specifically and as community to share the love and forgiveness, and ultimately then, the peace of Christ.
Today, two days after Easter, I want to receive that grace. In the name of Jesus Christ, you are forgiven. Glory to God.