Sharing Gifts
There are scenes from parenting that are seared on some of our memories. Perhaps you have been part of this scene at some point. It is deep in the holiday season. The house has been full of generations of family for what seems like days or even weeks. Or you are on your third stop through all the various family tree Christmas celebrations – hopping house to house in other’s homes. This is the second gathering of the day, your child’s nap was about as long as the drive here, approximately an hour shorter than the nap needed to be but definitely all the time the family needed in the car.
The sugar intake on this day has been high. For you, for the kids. Low tables in everyone’s home are covered with cookies, candy or breakable heirlooms the kids should not be playing with. Dogs are zipping between guests’ legs and kids who only see one another and all of these adults once a year are anxious and clingy, but interested in the new or unfamiliar faces before them.
It gets to be gift exchange time – each of the kids receive a brightly colored package but the wrapping is torn off before you can even begin to know who has given this particular present. One kid squeals with delight and just as everyone smiles adoringly, another shrieks and says, “I didn’t want this!! I hate this game.”
That shriek sounds suspiciously like one of your kids – one who definitely needed more nap and less sugar. Instinctively you glance around the room, scanning for disappointed faces. Surely the giver of the classic game is feeling a bit let down right now. They probably love the game. It probably has some deep sentimental meaning in their lives. And now your kid is in full-bore Christmas meltdown on the floor.
Maybe I am the only parent with this memory lingering in my soul somewhere…
Today, we celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany – technically a few days early. Christmas is a Christian feast of 12 days, and it ends officially with Epiphany on January 6. The word epiphany means “a manifestation of something supernatural” or a moment of revelation. If we break it down, the word is comprised of roots that come together to mean “shine on” or “show up.”
The Feast of the Epiphany then is a time when we remember the wise strangers who traveled from afar, following the emerging light of a star in the night sky, in search of a new King, bearing gifts for that new King.
When we say they came from afar, we’re not just talking about geographic distance. These wise strangers – likely not exclusively men – were coming from a place whose ways were very different, whose religious traditions and interpretations of the world were very different. They were coming from Persia and they were steeped in Zoroastrianism, a tradition that was a precursor to Islam. Zoroastrianism is monotheistic – so at least they shared that in common with this Jewish family they sought. But so much else was very different.
They brought with them gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Strange gifts for a child – and yet they were gifts known to the ancient world. The prophet Isaiah references gold and frankincense being presented by the nations at the restoration of Jerusalem. Other recorded histories document these three specific gifts being presented to new kings elsewhere in the region in prior centuries. Gold was universally precious. Frankincense is a resin used for perfume or incense. Myrrh was also a fragrant resin, combined with other things for anointing and medicinal use.
So these wise strangers were bearing seemingly exotic and unusual gifts – gifts which they understood to have great value.
They were also gifts that would have been far from the humble daily life of Mary and Joseph and the child who was probably more toddler than baby at this point, Jesus. Scholars have imagined the symbolic role these gifts might have played – gold for a king, frankincense for a priest and myrrh to be used for embalming at Jesus’ death.
These gifts, this journey – the intent of the wise strangers was to pay homage, to bow down and worship this new king. Somewhere in the ways that they understood the world to work, it had been revealed to them that this child was someone of great power. And that revelation had moved something in them – something that caused them to set out on a journey, a journey that included a stop at Herod’s palace before landing in the tiny town of Bethlehem.
I want to lift a few things from this story that might guide us as we stand at the threshold of a new year, pondering what light is calling to us.
First, these wise strangers were just that – strangers. They were from a different political system, a different religious system, a different social system. And yet they recognized the bigger “good news” of the birth of Jesus. Somehow, they recognized it, sought him out and honored him before the religious leaders of the Jewish community. Let’s not forget that the early visitors in these stories were shepherds who were working the grunge jobs and sages from afar, not the priests, scribes, local leader or King Herod. The outsiders were the first to understand the signs and to show up.
I wonder, how often do strangers, particularly strangers who are not the kind of folks that we typically hang with or the kind of folks we particularly respect, offer us gifts that we recognize and receive? I wonder how many times we have been offered a bit of wisdom, and acknowledgement, an opportunity or an insight from someone whose ways or understandings or truths are foreign to us…and we’ve not even known what was being offered?
These were strangers with strange beliefs, but they came to worship the power and majesty this child possessed.
Next, the gifts that the strangers came bringing were their idea of goodness and honor, not necessarily what a new young family needs, right? And probably not something even someone who knows what it means to be a future king is apt to be super-excited about. These gift offerings had value that was understood as honor by the GIVER.
Think about how we often give gifts today – think about the anxiety that we create around gift-giving.
Somewhere along the line, the giving of gifts has become an anxious undertaking – trying to anticipate the deepest desires and hopes of the recipient rather than reflecting the givers deep respect and honor for the person receiving the gift.
I wonder…have you had the experience of receiving a gift from someone who was SO VERY excited to give you something, and they were nearly giddy as you received it. But somewhere you weren’t quite sure what you would do with this gift? Or why the giver thought it was perfect for you?
Finally, I think it is true that not every “gift” makes sense to us until we’ve lived with it for a bit. And maybe, the reason someone gives us a gift and the reason we value a gift are two really different reasons. Remember how I mentioned biblical scholars interpreting the gifts that Jesus received – gold for Kingship, frankincense for the priestly role or the religious reformer, and myrrh for embalming a body broken by crucifixion. Gifts that were the tradition of the day came to have meaning in the context of Jesus’ life and death – particularly as we look back over the wide scope of the storyline. Those gifts couldn’t have been seen for that value in that moment. By any of the characters in this story, really…
Gifts are complicated things. They involve a giver and a recipient. They involve an intention and acceptance. They reflect values, hopes, dreams, acknowledgements. They reveal something about the giver. They reveal something about the recipient.
This week, you should have received a gift in the mail for the year to come. A star word should have appeared in your mailbox.
Star words show up in our lives at Epiphany – sparks of guidance or wisdom, energy or call. Star words are not chosen by each of us. In this case I want to assure you that while you’re not picking one randomly out of a basket, these words were not chosen by human hands for you. (Really – I promise – it was a random and blind process.)
I have already heard from some of you. I have already heard some of the resonance or appreciation you feel for the word that chose you this year. In the immortal words of .38 Special, “hold on loosely, but don’t let go…” (Special nod to all of those children of the 80s out there – looking at you, Michael Wu.) Don’t be to quick to assume the role this word plays in your life. But notice, pay attention, ponder on your heart.
(If you are a visitor with us today, if you didn’t receive a star word and you would like to, please use the worship sign in form linked on our website and let us know you’d like a word. Share your contact info and we’ll get one to you PRONTO.)
It is my prayer that this star word hasn’t caused shrieking disappointment.
It is my prayer and my hope that this star word might accompany you in the year to come as a gift.
A gift whose meaning is not yet clear.
A gift that might mean one thing now and an entirely different thing later.
A gift you didn’t choose. A gift that chose you.
A gift that might shape the offering that you make to Christ in the year to come.
May it be so.
Amen.
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