Finding Forgiveness
We’ve set out on this lifelong venture of becoming a disciple…or at least examining what that path looks like.
We’re spending time unpacking the “truths” or “markers” or points along the way, and last week and this week (and probably next week), we’re focused on what it means to experience the forgiveness and acceptance of God. I may have chosen the easy route last week, focusing on acceptance, pondering what it means to be fully seen and loved no matter what. But we hit on some key points that help us build. We talked about shame, about how shame becomes a mask that we wear that keeps us from being fully seen. And we talked about Jesus being a source of light – the light of the world. And it is easier to see fully in light. How is it that a relationship with the light of Christ causes us to be full seen for ALL of who we are?
Forgiveness is a tricky topic. In order to experience forgiveness, I think we have to admit we’re not perfect…which requires somehow owning our mistakes and flaws. Perhaps more than that, we have to believe that somehow the impact of hurt and harm we cause can be cancelled or transformed in some way.
Did you know it is actually hard to find a good definition of forgiveness? Remember those English teachers early on that droned about how a good definition should not include the root of the word you are trying to define?
Google tells me that to forgive is to stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw or mistake. So then, to be forgiven would be to receive release from another’s anger or resentment created by some harm we’ve caused that person.
Google also offers this analysis of frequency of the “use” of the word in books across 200 years….and maybe it doesn’t surprise you that the peak usage of the word was in the late 1830s, and the least usage was around 1974…and we’ve only seen a modest uptick in usage since that low point.
I want to be super clear that to forgive is NOT to forget…and there is a fascinating debate about freeing someone from resentment but not yet having “positive” feelings toward them. Perhaps the best that can be accomplished is neutrality of some sort.
Hmm. That may not feel very comforting. I think it is human nature to want others to not just be neutral toward us but to LIKE us.
Remember that a disciples experiences God’s forgiveness and acceptance. God moves beyond the neutral space and embraces us. We talked about that last week. The two things go hand in hand. And when they go hand in hand, they free us up. We’ll talk about that in a bit.
Admittedly, our text for today is the …. Standard for exploring forgiveness. But there is a reason for that. It is such a multifaceted story. And it is as much about the father as it is about the son. And it is also about the other brother. And if we let it be, it is about the unnamed characters.
You know the general shape of the story. A son, weary of life in his father’s household, asks for an advance of his inheritance so that he can go out and see the world. Which he does. He squanders his inheritance – presumably on good food, entertainment, wine, and women – and finds himself homeless and hungry. The work he can find is feeding the pigs, and he realizes that he would be quite happy to have the food the pigs are given because he is so broke and hungry. So he practices his apology, and returns home.
Before he can even speak a word, his father has seen him in the distance and orders the servants of the household to prepare a feast and meet the son with robes
Prodigal means lavish. The title often given this parable is the ‘prodigal son,’ describing the lavish excess of the son’s lifestyle before he seeks his father’s forgiveness. But what about the lavish forgiveness that the father offers? Might it also be the story of the prodigal father? The father who lets go of the past to receive the fullness of his son back in his life?
Have you ever practiced an apology before offering it? Thought through exactly the right things to say…the right order of the words. Maybe you were practicing because you were being careful not to further wound, or not to take on too much responsibility, to limit your confession?
I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son…
In this particular story, the prodigal FATHER doesn’t even need to hear the words. He’s so elated to have his son back. So happy to embrace the one he believed lost to him. He is so willing to let go of what hurt has been caused.
I wonder…does the father’s prodigal forgiveness make you uncomfortable?
Let’s look at the other brother’s response… He’s mad. He’s been diligent and loyal to his family. He’s stayed with his father, done hard work, probably picked up the slack left by his reckless brother’s absence. And now the father has received that reckless son back into the household. But he already GOT his inheritance – surely if he is back it will ultimately mean less for me…
What if there is enough to go around? What if it is not like a pie? What if there is always more?
And then, there are the servants who don’t have a voice. These would be witnesses to the family dynamic. They would know the lost son’s choices. They likely have known the father’s grief and struggle. And they are probably privy to the remaining son’s sense of responsibility and resentment. I assume, too, that they picked up the slack when one son left and they are now preparing the feast for the son as he returns.
These are all real emotions that surround the experience of being offered forgiveness. No wonder forgiveness is a tricky topic.
What if we just embraced it. Learned to ask for forgiveness because God has already ordered a fresh robe and sandals, so excited for our return.
Re – turn.
Turning back.
Forgiven.
My daughter and I have had conversations all week about the tricky etymology and definition of that word. She hands here – something given FOR someone. Love and acceptance and cancelled debt given forth…
Mmmm.
In order to matter on the discipleship journey, the experience of forgiveness must change us. When we actually experience forgiveness for the things that weigh us down, for the ways we might be consciously or unconsciously hiding from the world, if we really receive it, experience the cleansing and the emptying and the loving, then I think we also receive more “space,” or more capacity.
Capacity that we are then called to share. Capacity to forgive others Capacity to love others. Capacity to see other’s brokenness and not have it be a barrier. Capacity to accept that we don’t fully understand how the accounting of forgiveness actually works, can’t control it and shouldn’t try to limit it.
It’s God’s gift. It’s work Jesus did.
In this season of exploring the lifetime journey toward discipleship, this is just one stop along the way – experiencing God’s acceptance and forgiveness. It is not necessarily the first stop. It is a stop we all make at different times and for different reasons. It’s not a stop we can skip by – thinking there is nothing in our hearts that needs forgiven. It’s a stop we sometimes make together as a community. It’s a stop we sometimes make alone.
And God will always meet us there when we are ready.
During this sermon series, our work is not to show up and listen to something interesting each week and then mark time until the next sermon. Our work is to invite the sermon work on us and shape us and help us move toward a next thing.
This week I ask that you really think about the act of naming something for which you need forgiven. As a church, we share a unison prayer of confession – and I’ve heard people express discomfort with that action. We pray:
Merciful God,
We confess that we have not loved you with our whole heart.
We have failed to be an obedient church.
We have not done your will
We have broken your law
We have rebelled against your love
We have not loved our neighbors, and
We have not heard the cry of the needy.
Forgive us, we pray.
Free us for joyful obedience, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.
I want to suggest that asking for forgiveness is action we all need. Maybe we need our own words. Maybe we need to see it as an invitation to be shown a place we might find transformation we didn’t even know we needed. And here the words I am using. “We” need this. Together.
And when we offer up our confession and then experience forgiveness, may we also receive the space, the freedom, the capacity to love and serve and connect with radical grace and hospitality to others who need to know of God’s unbounded love for them.
May it be so.
Amen.
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