Um...that is kind of exhausting for someone who has worked pretty hard for a lifetime to be in control.
This week was full. Emma's graduation, house guests, a nasty bout of a stomach bug. Annual conference that in some moments felt like home left me a little empty and scared. Then there is the lingering sense that I am called to be faithful without really knowing the shape of that call. I keep thinking that if I find the right process, the right new discipline, the right attitude that the disquiet that has settled in will go away.
I keep finding myself facing people who, in love, are reflecting my gifts and graces back to me, encouraging me to be faithful, to let go, to be ready.
Today, I am trying to live into this day fully, a day of sabbath rest. I am resting in the mantra that I am enough. I am beloved. I can and will be faithful. These things I know in the clearness of the day:
Loving people matters.
Opening our hearts and ears to one another matters.
The church should matter...as a vehicle for all of this.
So here are the words that came to me today...in rest:
You are, beloved child,
created in My wondrous image
Complete with all you need
To serve this world.
Rest in my arms and know
that you lack not one thing,
One gift of grace
For the work I call you to.
Drink in mystery around you.
Don't worry about process, timelines.
Be all mine, faithfully knowing
Your every need is met.
By my hand -- generous and strong,
confident and sure in you, your purpose,
The one you know deep down in your flesh,
Your heart, your soul -- walk forward.